Swingers etiquette

Basics:

The 'prime directive' in swinging is "No means no". This signifies that rejection of a sexual proposal does not require justification and must always be respected. Violation of the ground rules can occasion immediate expulsion. Other hard and fast rules at many swing clubs include the use of condoms and changing condoms between partners.

In the UK both touching and gently but firmly removing a touching hand are widely regarded as polite non-verbal communication in the playroom context.

In Depth:

So, you've heard that swinging can be fun and you want to get some action. You've found a website or maybe seen an advertisement in the local newspaper and you want to answer it but is that all there is between you and more fun than you're wildest wet dream?

No, there is a whole lot more to being accepted in the swinging scene than just making contact, rocking up to the party, grabbing a chick and start banging away. There is a little matter of etiquette and it's something that escapes many people who want to be active in the swinging scene.

Etiquette isn't about groveling to those who run the parties or begging some of the couples there to let you join in. Etiquette is simply about being polite because polite people get accepted while those who can't be polite get rejected.

So what is the correct etiquette for swinging? Read on and all will be revealed and if you follow these points you will find that you more acceptances than rejections.

Sharing

The very first thing to remember is that swinging is about sharing. It's two or more people sharing intimate times in either a private or group setting. It's not about taking, it's all about sharing. You share yourself and your partner with the other people at the party and that means that sometimes others will get to spend time with the guy or girl that you want.

If that happens then accept it and move on to someone else. Don't rush in, pushing others aside and try and take that person. Instead behave like an adult and accept the fact that there will be other occasions and other opportunities. You might also find that the person you do spend time with is more fun than the one you really wanted.

Be Polite .

A swinger's party is a gathering of mature adults for fun times. It's not the same as a night out with the boys, or a coffee break on the production line. Language and attitude that may be acceptable in those situations will not be acceptable at a party so temper your language and be courteous.

It's OK To Say No.

If you can't cope with polite rejection then perhaps you should not even think of getting into the swinging scene. There is never any compulsion in swinging and everyone has the right to say no. Some people describe it as the golden rule of swinging and if you are politely rejected then the way you handle that rejection will govern the way others in the group react to you.

Just because you really want to spend time with the hot little blonde who really knows how to give a great blowjob does not mean that she may want to spend time with you. It doesn't matter if you look Fabio, you're hung like a horse and you can last all night; if the answer to your invitation is ‘no' then accept it and move on.

What's That Terrible Smell ?

The days of bathing or showering once a week whether you needed it or not are long gone. Never turn up to any sort of intimate social gathering without spending some time in the bath or shower first. And while you're in the shower or bath make sure that you wash EVERY part of your body.

Body odour is bad enough but don't let that sexy brunette who likes to play with your ass find herself locked in an old Star Trek episode and have to look at the Klingons circling Uranus.

And guys, you may think that designer stubble looks sexy and maybe it does but if you want to get into some serious pussy worshipping then shave before you party. I know from personal experience that having an unshaven guy go down on me is like being attacked with a kitchen scourer. If you don't believe me then go down to the workshop, find a wood file and use it to vigorously rub the end of your cock.

If you do that you will then know what the insides of a girl's thighs feel like after an unshaven guy has spent some time licking her pussy. You want other people in these groups to enjoy you and that enjoyment starts with your personally hygiene.

Don't Forget Your Partner

You may be having the wildest time you have ever experienced but what about your partner? Whether it is the guy or girl you came with or the guy or girl you making out with, be sure to be aware of how they are feeling. And be prepared to change what you are doing to meet their needs.

Swinging takes two and if your partner's needs are not being met then you may never get another opportunity or another invitation so stay in tune with them and don't ignore them.

Practice Safe Sex

Don't be offended if others at the party require you to wear a condom or use some other form of protection. People's opinions and requirements can vary widely so be prepared to fit in with the party rules. If you don't agree with those rules then don't try and force your opinion on the others. Just don't attend if you don't like the rules and look for a group that is more in tune with your outlook.

Drinking and Drugs

At many of these parties social drinking is perfectly acceptable but those who drink till they're drunk will seldom get another invitation. Excess drink not only leads to boorish behaviour but it also impairs sexual function. Again, that's something I know from personal experience. Most drunks seem to think that they are the answer to a maiden's prayers when usually they can't even get it up.

Drugs are another matter. Most swinger groups that I have been involved with and those that I see advertising on websites are drug free. Respect that and don't try and push the boundaries.

By the way, if you're a cigarette smoker then don't be surprised, or offended, if others decline your invitation for some fun. Many non-smokers will find the breath of a smoker really very unpleasant and it doesn't matter how many mints or mouth sprays you might use. If you're a smoker and you want to have the widest appeal then don't smoke for at least several hours before the party and make sure that the smell of cigarette smoke isn't lingering in your hair and clothes.

Thank Your Hosts.

When you receive an invitation to a swinger's party be sure to thank the organizers and the people who host the party. Words of appreciation cost you nothing and yet they are an investment in the future. People who appreciate the hard work and effort that the organizers put into staging a party will always be remembered and more likely to invited back and isn't that what you want?

Finally let me say that swinger's parties are all about having fun … for everyone. And if you have a look at the rules of etiquette that I have set out you will see that they cost you nothing but ensure the ultimate pleasure for everyone.

And that's what it's all about.

Thanks to the author of this article.